Teaching My Child to Speak Up for Himself | Episode 27
Episode 27: From Autism Diagnosis to College Freshman
Teaching my child to speak up for himself.
In Episode 27, we discuss developing self-advocacy—the ability to understand what you need, identify who can help you access it, and speak up for your own best interests.
I began this work with my son long before he had the words to advocate for himself.
Even when he was not yet verbal, I understood that the absence of spoken language did not mean the absence of an opinion. So, I spoke for him until he could speak for himself.
As his language developed, I modeled what advocacy looked like.
I wanted him to understand that he had a right to be treated well, that his needs mattered, and that asking for what he needed was part of taking responsibility for his own life.
Eventually, the responsibility began transferring to him.
By the time he was a Young Tree, we had developed scripts and strategies he could use to advocate for himself in school and other environments.
Today, as an Oak Tree, self-advocacy is an essential part of how he navigates college.
I have taught him that whatever he does not know presents an opportunity to ask. Identifying what information he needs, determining who can provide it, and then procuring that information is now his responsibility.
Because nobody is going to want for you what you want for yourself as badly as you want it for yourself.
Except maybe your mama.
He has also learned that advocacy begins before the dilemma arises.
At the beginning of a semester, he introduces himself to his professors.
He discusses his accommodations.
He establishes relationships with the people who may eventually become important members of his college village.
That is intentional.
If an issue arises later, he does not have to establish a relationship and advocate for a need simultaneously.
The relationship already exists, allowing the advocacy itself to become the focal point.
Through the lens of the Village Engagement Matrix™, this is what developmental transfer looks like.
I advocated for my child.
Then I modeled advocacy for my child.
Then I taught my child to advocate for himself.
Today, as an Oak Tree, he advocates for himself.
And as his parent in the Consultant Phase, I am still available when he wants perspective, understanding, or guidance—but the voice advocating for his life belongs to him.
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