Helping My Child Understand Autism | Episode 29
Episode 29: From Autism Diagnosis to College Freshman
Helping my child understand autism.
In Episode 29, we discuss something I believe is essential to self-awareness and self-advocacy: talking to your child about autism.
When my son was about 8 years old, I realized I wanted to begin inviting him into his own IEP meetings.
Then it occurred to me:
How could I invite him into a meeting about him without first making sure he understood that he had autism?
So, I told him.
There was no formal sit-down. No dramatic announcement.
We were walking from Six Flags back to our car.
It was a long walk, and I simply started a conversation.
My son had only ever known one way of being—his way.
He had always been on the autism spectrum.
He had always experienced the world through his own lens.
What he needed was language to help him understand something that was already part of who he was.
That mattered deeply to me.
I remembered learning that I was Black through conversations that centered what the world might deny me because I was Black. I did not want my son introduced to autism through a lens that centered what life might deny him.
I wanted him to understand:
This is autism.
These are some of the ways I have observed autism showing up in you.
I love you.
And you are perfectly made.
That conversation was never intended to explain everything.
It became one conversation among a million little conversations we have had as his understanding of himself has grown and matured.
Today, as an Oak Tree, he understands autism as part of his identity. He talks openly about being on the autism spectrum, understands his individual needs, advocates for himself, and has language for explaining how he experiences the world.
He once described autism as being “part of my DNA.”
And that is what I wanted for him.
Before asking the world to understand and accept my child, I wanted to make sure my child had the knowledge and language needed to understand and accept himself.
Through the lens of the Village Engagement Matrix™, identity development does not happen in one conversation. It develops through years of information, affirmation, reflection, experience, and opportunities for children to increasingly define themselves.
I gave him language.
Over time, he made the meaning his own.
And today, I have an Oak Tree who knows, appreciates, and accepts exactly who he is.
BOOM!!!!
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