Episode 42 | Recognizing and Respecting Your Child’s Sensitivities
Episode 42: From Autism Diagnosis to College Freshman
Recognizing and Respecting Your Child’s Sensitivities
These archival conversations were recorded while I was writing Raising Superman.
As Ricky II approached the end of high school and prepared for college and young adulthood, the interview process gave us space to have candid conversations about his experiences growing up on the autism spectrum and my experiences parenting a child on the autism spectrum.
During the Explorer Phase of Parenting in the Village Engagement Matrix™, I was learning Ricky II by paying close attention to how he responded to the world around him.
That included recognizing his sensitivities.
When Ricky II was very young, I didn’t always know why a particular environment, sound, light, or object made him uncomfortable.
And because his verbal communication was still emerging, he couldn’t always explain it to me.
But he didn’t have to explain it for me to respond.
If we entered an environment and I could see that Ricky II didn’t want to be there, we left.
I didn’t need to understand everything in that moment.
I needed to pay attention to my child.
As I continued to study Ricky II, patterns began to emerge.
I learned more about his sensitivities and made adjustments based on what I learned.
I carried earplugs when he needed them.
We avoided things that caused him discomfort.
And as he grew and showed interest in experiences that had once been difficult for him, we slowly explored them again.
Some sensitivities changed as he grew and developed.
Some did not.
Both gave me information about the child I was responsible for loving and caring for well.
The goal was never to make Ricky II comfortable with everything.
The goal was to understand what he needed and create conditions that allowed him to engage with the world in ways that worked for him.
And I love where this conversation lands.
At 18, Ricky II can enjoy some experiences that were difficult for him when he was younger.
But deflated balloons?
He’s still not so sure.
And that’s okay.
As I told him:
“You can live a whole life without deflated balloons.”
Every sensitivity does not have to disappear for a child to grow and thrive.
Sometimes loving and caring for a child well is as straightforward as recognizing what they are communicating, respecting it, and responding accordingly.❤️🌰🌱🌿🌳
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