Episode 41 | Teaching Skills That Grow With Your Child
Episode 41: From Autism Diagnosis to College Freshman
Teaching Skills That Grow With Your Child
These archival conversations were recorded while I was writing Raising Superman.
As Ricky II approached the end of high school and prepared for college and young adulthood, the interview process gave us space to have candid conversations about his experiences growing up on the autism spectrum and my experiences parenting a child on the autism spectrum.
Throughout Ricky II’s childhood, I thought a lot about transferability.
I did not want to teach him skills that were only useful in third grade, only useful in a particular classroom, or only useful when a specific adult was there to prompt him.
I wanted to teach him skills that could grow with him.
I did not know exactly what Ricky II’s adult life would look like.
But I knew it was my responsibility to prepare him for that life as well as I possibly could.
So when we worked on communication, decision-making, independence, social-emotional development, self-advocacy, or any other area, I was always looking beyond the immediate task.
How can he use this later?
How can this skill grow as he grows?
How can what he is learning today help him navigate his life tomorrow?
That is what I meant when I pushed for transferable skills in his education. I wasn’t preparing Ricky II simply to successfully complete childhood.
I was stewarding the development of skills that I hoped would help prepare him for adulthood.
The Rhythm of Conversation is one example.
When Ricky II was eight years old, he wanted to connect with other children. I created a simple rhythm-and-clapping strategy to make the timing of conversation more concrete.
Ten years later, when I asked 18-year-old Ricky II to identify something he remembered learning during those years that made him proud, he chose the Rhythm of Conversation.
And then we clapped it out together again.
But this time, Ricky II could explain something the eight-year-old could not.
The basic skills we teach children when they are young can become skills they know how to apply later in life.
That was exactly what I had been working toward.
In the Village Engagement Matrix™, the developmental journey ultimately leads toward the Oak Tree: adulthood.
I could not know what Ricky II’s Oak Tree would look like.
My responsibility was to steward the skills, gifts, interests, and opportunities in front of me at each stage of his development so that when adulthood arrived, he would have as many tools as possible to build a life of his own.
That is why I didn’t want third-grade skills that ended in third grade.
I wanted life skills.
Skills that could deepen.
Skills that could expand.
Skills that could be applied in new ways.
Skills that could grow with my child.
Because childhood was never the destination.
I was preparing my baby to become an Oak Tree. ❤️🌰🌱🌿🌳
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