Episode 39 | Creating Security Through Consistency
Episode 39: From Autism Diagnosis to College Freshman
Creating Security Through Consistency
These archival conversations were recorded while I was writing Raising Superman.
As Ricky II approached the end of high school and prepared for college and young adulthood, the interview process gave us space to have candid conversations about his experiences growing up on the autism spectrum and my experiences parenting a child on the autism spectrum.
In this conversation, I ask Ricky II what I did during his early childhood that made him feel safe and secure.
His first answer is simple:
I was always there.
But as we continue talking, he gives me an answer that I find even more fascinating.
I lessened the gap between home and school.
When Ricky II entered kindergarten, I did not leave him alone to figure out an unfamiliar environment simply because he was now “in school.”
I communicated with his teacher.
I observed the classroom.
I learned the language and routines being used at school.
And then I explicitly taught and reinforced those same skills at home.
I didn’t leave his understanding to chance.
If there was something he needed to know, I taught him.
What I understood as helping my child successfully navigate school, Ricky II remembers as something more:
It made him feel secure.
That matters to me.
Because security is not only created by holding our children close.
Sometimes security is created by making the different parts of their world feel connected and predictable.
Home and school did not have to operate as two completely separate worlds.
Even when I wasn’t physically sitting beside him in the classroom, I remained connected to what he was experiencing there.
He knew that if something at school didn’t yet make sense, we could work through it together at home.
And then he could return better prepared to navigate it for himself.
That was the goal.
I was not preparing Ricky II to always need me.
I was making sure that while he was learning how to navigate the world, he never had to learn it alone.
He was my baby.
It was my responsibility.
And eighteen-year-old Ricky II tells me that consistency made him feel safe.
❤️🌰🌱🌿🌳
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