Episode 37 | Building a Child’s Belief in Themselves
Episode 37: From Autism Diagnosis to College Freshman
Building a Child’s Belief in Themselves
These archival conversations were recorded while I was writing Raising Superman.
As Ricky II approached the end of high school and prepared for college and young adulthood, the interview process gave us space to have candid conversations about his experiences growing up on the autism spectrum and my experiences parenting a child on the autism spectrum.
In this conversation, we look back at Ricky II’s Super Duper Kid years—Pre-K through second grade.
These were important years for building identity.
I was learning who my child was.
I paid attention to his interests, made space for the things he loved, and intentionally surrounded him with messages about who he was and what was possible for his life.
When Ricky II was three years old, I gave him a mantra:
“I can be anything I want to be if I plan and work hard.”
At the time, he was still emerging in his verbal communication.
He didn’t fully understand everything I was building.
He didn’t need to.
My job was to give him something strong enough to grow into.
And that is what makes listening to 18-year-old Ricky II reflect on those years so powerful.
He remembers.
He remembers that I paid attention to the things he loved.
He remembers the mantra.
He remembers the experiences.
And sixteen years later, he tells me that words like those can travel with a child into adulthood and change their life.
Then I learn that somewhere along the way, Ricky II changed my mantra.
One word.
If became when.
“I can be anything I want to be when I plan and work hard.”
That one-word change says so much about the developmental arc.
I gave a little boy language for possibility.
Over time, he made the belief his own.
By 18, possibility was no longer conditional.
And today, at 19, I get to watch him live from that belief.
That is why what we repeatedly pour into children matters.
They may not fully understand the words when we first give them.
But we are helping them construct an internal voice.
And one day, if we are fortunate enough to hear it spoken back to us, we may discover that they didn’t simply remember what we said.
They made it their own. 🌱🌿🌳
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