Episode 36 | Teaching My Child to Embrace Hard Work
Episode 36: From Autism Diagnosis to College Freshman
Teaching My Child to Embrace Hard Work
These archival conversations were recorded while I was writing Raising Superman.
As Ricky II approached the end of high school and prepared for college and young adulthood, the interview process gave us space to have candid conversations about his experiences growing up on the autism spectrum and my experiences parenting a child on the autism spectrum.
In this conversation, I ask Ricky II what advice he would give his younger self during his 3rd–7th grade years.
His answer reflects something I had intentionally worked to instill in him throughout childhood:
We can do hard things.
But I never separated possibility from effort.
The message was always:
We can do it. We just have to plan and work hard.
Throughout childhood, I helped him think through decisions, develop plans, identify what needed to happen next, and then do the work required to reach his goals.
And there are two pieces of advice that I have consistently given him:
If you condition yourself to love hard work, no goal is too far out of your reach.
And…
Always go the extra mile. It’s seldom crowded there. Go further, push harder, and let the work you do speak for you.
Over time, that became part of the way he approached life.
So when I ask the 18-year-old Ricky II what he would tell his 3rd–7th grade self, he talks about doing what you love, continuing to work at it, and putting in the time necessary to master it. 13 You Gotta put in the time.docx
And then comes the full-circle moment.
I realize that he no longer needs me to tell him how to approach hard things.
He already knows.
He studies what he wants.
He studies people who do it well.
He plans.
He practices.
He keeps going.
Today, as a young adult, I get to watch him live the advice he once gave his younger self.
Our partnership has changed.
I am no longer beside him directing every step.
He plans.
He does the work.
And when he needs perspective, advice, or support, he still knows he can reach back for me.
That is the outcome.
I helped him learn how to do the work. Now I get to watch him do it for himself. ❤️🌰🌱🌿🌳
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