How to Say It: Turning Observations Into Partnership

By Dr. El Brown, Engagement Strategist

There are moments in our work with children and families when we need to lift our eyes from the daily flow and look at the bigger picture. Over time, we begin to notice patterns in a child’s development — places where they are thriving and areas where growth is needed.

These are what I call “Say It” moments.

“Say It” is a way to share developmental concerns in a way that builds partnership. It’s not about rattling off deficits or quick judgments. It’s about offering families clear, usable information:

• Where their child is right now.

• Where we want their child to progress.

• How they can join us in supporting that progress.

This structure preserves dignity, builds trust, and turns observations into a plan.

The Three Steps of “Say It”

When you need to express developmental concerns over a period of time, the conversation should always follow three steps:

1. Where the child is currently.

2. Where you would like the child to progress.

3. How the family can assist.

This ensures the conversation has both data and direction — not just words that sound good, but words that carry weight and substance.

A Scenario: Marcus and the Alphabet

Too often, we hear statements like:

“Marcus doesn’t know his letters.”

On the surface, that might seem factual. But the truth is, it’s an observation with no teeth. It doesn’t tell us how many letters Marcus does know. It doesn’t set a target for growth. And it doesn’t show the family how they can help. Families walk away with no usable data and no way forward.

Now, let’s apply the three-step “Say It” method:

1. Where the child is currently:

“Currently, Marcus has mastered five of the 26 letters in the alphabet.”

✅ This provides concrete data. It acknowledges progress and shows exactly what he does know.

2. Where you’d like the child to progress:

“Our goal is for Marcus to identify five more letters by mid-quarter. I’ll continue practicing with him during circle time and small group.”

✅ This sets a measurable goal. It gives the family a clear picture of what success looks like.

3. How the family can assist:

“I’ve prepared a set of alphabet cards for Marcus to use in the classroom, and I made another set for you to use at home. Could you work with him on these a couple of times each week?”

✅ This makes the family an active partner. They know exactly what to do and how often to do it.

Why This Matters

When we stop at “Marcus doesn’t know his letters,” we leave families with a dead-end statement — no context, no plan, and no invitation to act.

When we use the three-step “Say It” method, we move from empty observation to meaningful communication. Families walk away with:

• Usable data about their child’s current skills.

• A clear next step for growth.

• A practical way to partner in the process.

This is how we turn concern into collaboration, and observation into partnership.

Because at the end of the day, our goal is simple: to turn observations into substance — giving families the clarity, data, and partnership they need to help their children thrive.